Top Islamic Marriage Books, Part 1

Every Muslim couple wants to read an excellent Islamic marriage book to clarify their rights and duties. Here are a few books and my thoughts on what makes a good read.

The classic Islamic marriage book is the series by Muhammad Mustafa Al-Jibaly. He is originally from Lebanon but migrated to the United States. His group of books called “The Muslim Family” is the best resource in English on how a Muslim couple can conform to Islamic practices. He gives a general overview of Islamic marriage but brushes over the more difficult aspect or sayings like discipline wife by only quoting a few historical comments on it. (Also his comments on polygamy are quite short but often a non-issue for those living in the West). However, his comments and opinions on intimacy become quite valuable.

Without a doubt, his books summarize Islamic marriage quite thoroughly. Each of his Islamic marriage books concludes with definitions of Arabic terms in English script. His three of four books make my list for couples (his fourth book concerns raising children, which I have not read.)

Review of Islamic Marriage Books

The Quest for Love & Mercy – Regulations for Marriage & Wedding in Islam This foundation book on the purpose of marriage explores the process of Islamic marriage, including the contractual Islamic nature of marriage, choosing a mate, and a key focus on the wedding ceremony process. His charts, especially in the chapter “The Marriage Contract,” are easy to follow and place the multiple elements in a readable format. He writes for a Western Islamic audience, which is demonstrated well in the section on The Mahr (Dowry). His writing accurately defines marriage as a religious contract and makes available Islamic words in English script. He warns of Western practices of dancing, clothing, and wearing a wedding ring (95-99).^[1]Muhammad Mustafa Al-Jibaly. The Quest for Love & Mercy – Regulations for Marriage & Wedding in Islam, Arlington: Al-Kitab & As-Sunnah, 2005.

Closer than a Garment

Closer than a Garment – Marital Intimacy according to the Pure Sunnah – The second book focuses on the pleasures and sexual responsibilities in marriage. The second on Islamic etiquette of intimacy covers the first four chapters. Then he warns about immoral sexual relations and advice covers the remaining chapters. I compliment his ability to write matter-of-factly about many difficult sexual problems with a fair and balanced approach.

He states his purpose, “This book is an attempt to brush away many of those deviant ideas that have crept into the Muslims’ minds and homes, and to present sexual intimacy as a pure and beneficial element of a Muslim’s life.”^[2]Muhammad Mustafa Al-Jibaly, Closer than a Garment – Marital Intimacy according to the Pure Sunnah, Arlington: Al-Kitaab & as-Sunnah, 2005, xxii – xxiii. However, the book’s title is Closer than a Garment, which he never defines nor alludes to the Surah, which states this (Surah 2:187). He jumps into the sexual pleasure of the husband from the get-go, forgetting any garment idea of sharing, which I fear epitomizes many Muslim marriages.

Al-Jibaly often pairs Arabic and translations to help English readers. In this section, he mentions bathing together and when it is acceptable.

The Fragile Vessels

The Fragile Vessels – Rights and Obligations between the Spouses in Islam Al-Jibaly neatly writes about the duties and rights in an Islamic contract marriage while exploring the historical obligations of the multiple wives of the Prophet. Islamic contract marriage consistently emphasizes the husband’s rights in connection to the obligations of the wife (wives). The key quote starts with this: “Marriage is a bond held together by mutual rights and responsibilities for each of the two spouses. It is a partnership between them, and they are both required to play an active role in that partnership.”^[3]The Fragile Vessels – Rights and Obligations between the Spouses in Islam, Arlington: al-Kitaab & as-Sunnah, 2005, 1. Islamic marriage is a contractual bond based on rights and obligations, not promises or unconditional vows.

Knowing the Difference

the critical difference between a quranic and biblical marriage is that one is a contract and the other a covenant. The covenant marriage seeks oneness while the Islamic contract maintains distance and forms of twoness.

Defining Marriage: Sketching the difference between Covenant and Contract will help those influenced by an Islamic society to practically live out a covenant marriage. The examples in Defining Marriage give actionable tips to help your marriage while reinforcing your biblical perspective.

The research includes interviews that give insights into how others have observed differences between a covenant and a contractual marriage. Each chapter concludes with questions and discussion questions for couples or small groups to consider.

Defining Marriage will help those in and near an Islamic Society to:

1. Understand the Scriptural basis for why marriage is a covenant.
2. See the necessity in adopting a covenant spouse identity.
3. Analyze critical areas of difference between Islam and the Bible like roles, headship and submission.
4. Provide a template for renewing one’s marriage to covenant ideas.
5. Perceive how much Islamic marriage is a contract and the obligations in this type of marriage.